


I Can't Help Loving You

by Cherikella



Category: Cherik - Fandom, X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Different perspectives, Falling In Love, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Roommates, charles is crushing hard, cherik - a housemates au, friends - Freeform, maybe erik is crushing even harder ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-04-11 18:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4446956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherikella/pseuds/Cherikella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Housemates AU<br/>Charles and Erik share a flat together. It's both a blessing and a curse when you have the biggest crush ever on your roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Roommate

"I'll miss you!" his sister Raven hugged him tightly. It wasn't like Raven to show this much emotion but Charles knew she'd give anything to be with her brother longer. 

"I'll miss you too!" Charles supplied, hugging her back, trying to fight back the tears in his eyes

"You're crying, aren't you!? You're such a wuss!" she said lovingly and he had to smile "Be careful at university, ok?" 

"I'm the older sibling, I'm supposed to be saying such things to you" Charles smiled

"Whatever! You're the emotional and sensitive one so..." she shrugged and tapped him gently on the shoulder. "I'll really miss you, you stupid dork! Take care of yourself! Please..." 

He promised he'd do so, promised to skype every evening, promised to eat well and be careful with university boys. It was really strange that his little teenage sister had to give him 'the talk' instead of his mother, for example. But both Charles and Raven were used to it so he only shrugged and left. 

He was upset to leave Raven alone in their ancestral home but he was also relieved to be leaving this museum of dark secrets. Now he was going to university and was going to share a flat with his new roommate. They say your new roommate is your best friend for life. Charles was curious to check if this theory was right. Who would he see the moment he opens that door? Who would be his new best friend for life?

///

He opens the door and sees a half-naked girl, pacing around in frustration, trying to find her clothes. They were scattered throughout the messy living room. The girl was blonde and pretty. Was that his new best friend for life? 

"H-hello." Charles greeted awkwardly 

"Are you freaking staring at me!?" the girl snapped at him

"Oh, sh!t! No! No, I'm not! I'm sorry..." he quickly turned around, facing the front door "It's a misunderstanding, I promise..." 

"Whatever! Nerd!" she muttered and Charles could hear she was still searching for the rest of her clothes.

"I'm Charles, by the way. Charles Xavier" he said, still looking away. 

"I don't care, by the way" she said.

Her voice sounded biting, even if she didn't want it to be. But Charles suspected she wanted it to have that exact effect. 

"Okay... I just wanted to introduce myself since we'll be... umm... sharing this flat and..." 

There was a laugh coming from behind him.

"You think we'll be sharing this dump?" she sneered 

"Well..." 

"We're not sharing anything, sugar!" she said " _I_ don't live here.  _I_ live in a magnificent place that I _own_ because I'm not a poor rat like you, lot!" 

"Okay..."

Charles decided it was useless to parade with his family fortune which was considerable. But then again, he never liked parading with it. One of the reasons he chose to live with a roommate was to have the feeling of a normal life. However, that did not sound normal... More like  _next to normal._

"So no. You're not sharing this stupid little boring flat with me." she continued "The guy you're sharing with is Erik Lehnsherr, aka, the biggest ass to ever walk the earth!"

"Umm, Erik--?" 

"Out of my way!" she pushed him to pass through and stopped at the front door too look at Charles head to toe "Come to think of it, he may like you." 

And she left. 

Charles was puzzled. University life was definitely different than what he's known so far! Boy!

///

Charles looked around the flat. It was small and really messy. Obviously his roommate was also a slob! Although Charles doubted that was the reason for the young lady's frustration from a few minutes ago...

As Charles progressed through the boxes - both empty and full - clothes, tossed all over the place, and lots of books, he saw the door of one of the bedrooms open and a tall guy coming out of it. He was wearing an old blue T-shirt and jeans and he looked  _really good._ _  
_

"What do  _you_ want?" the guy asked. His accent sounded a bit German and very pleasant. Charles was dumb-stroke for a moment, unable to reply. Just his luck! 

"Charles Xavier" he thought he didn't stuttered too much.

"No Charles Xavier here, sorry" the guy shrugged. 

"No, I'm Charles Xavier!" Charles said pointing at himself like an idiot. 

"Riiight. So what?" 

"I'm your new roommate" he gave a charming smile that was usually the perfect ice-breaker. 

"Oh... Well... I better clean this up then..." he started picking up some of his clothes that were on the floor 

"So you're Erik?" Charles asked

"Yeah. Erik Lehnsherr. Also known as the biggest ass that walked the earth? Am I quoting it right?"

"Oh... you heard that then." Charles blushed

"Yeah, kinda obvious, wasn't it."

"Who-- who... who was she?"

Erik grinned at Charles and looked at him head to toe "You're curious, aren't you?"

"Maybe it's none of my business..." Charles said embarrassed "Which room is mine?"

"Feel free to pick. Most of my things are already there but... we can always switch."

"No... no, it's fine. I'll take that room." Charles mumbled, taking his bags in his hand again

"Hey!" Erik stopped him and offered a handshake "Welcome to the flat." he said with another grin 

Charles shook Erik's hand and felt goosebumps all over. Another awkward smile and he disappeared in his new room. 

 


	2. The Flat

As soon as Charles entered his new room he realized why Erik had occupied the other one. His room had just been painted and pretty as it looked, it smelled of all kinds of chemicals. Charles could hardly breathe. 

Other than that the flat was okay. It was a small one but after living in a huge cold mansion Charles preferred it that way. It consisted of two rooms, a bathroom, a living room, part of which was the kitchen with a bar plot. 

All in all it was a good place for two college roommates. 

Charles kept his door open because of the smell in his room. Erik leaned in on the door frame.  

"Will it be okay?" he asked "Can you stay in that room?"

"Um, yeah, I'll be fine." Charles nodded as he was folding his clothes and putting them on the rafts of his new wardrobe.   
"You sure? The smell is pretty bad. I've heard it could be dangerous." Erik said "You don't seem like a strong guy."

Charles did his best not to take this personally. 

"I'm fine!" he said

Erik shrugged "If you change your mind and realize you can't stand it, we can share mine" 

"I don't think it'll get to that." Charles said. He was glad his face was hidden by the wardrobe because he was pretty sure he was blushing like a 12 year old girl. 

"Oh... of course... yes. Sure. I'll just..." he jerked his hand in the direction of the kitchen "... be there then." 

Charles heard his roommates door closing and he didn't see Erik for the rest of the day. 

///

It was impossible to sleep in this room! Even with the window open it was impossible! Charles liked the room, but the smell was getting to his head. 

Finally he gave up, took his pillow and his blanket and moved to the couch in the living room. 

///

It was still dark outside when Charles heard noises in his sleep. He opened one eye just to check what the noise was and he saw Erik, in nothing but his boxers, his hands searching for something in the fridge. Charles swallowed. He could see the line of Erik's body lit by the light of the fridge, he could see his back, his strong arms, his legs, he could even see his backside. It was a piece of art. 

Charles forced his eyes shut at once. He could almost hear Raven's voice  _'Don't lose your head over college boys!'_ Darn it! Could it be that his new supposedly best friend for life turns out to be his biggest crush? 

Erik closed the fridge and walked back to his room, unknowingly making a show for Charles. The door was closed once again and Charles sighed in relief. At leas they didn't have to acknowledge the fact that Charles was sleeping here, on the couch, in their living room. Also he felt really embarrassed, realizing how flushed he must seem after seeing  _that_  much of Erik.

Darn it! He won't be sleeping tonight after all...

///

The next morning when Charles opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Erik's face, smiling at him. He thought he was still dreaming. 

But no. Erik was really there, sitting on the coffee table, his perfect body that Charles was already painfully aware of was covered in the same old T-shirt now. He really was grinning back at Charles and he had to rub his eyes to realize what time it was. 

"You couldn't stand the smell after all" Erik said instead of a good morning. 

"It was messing with my head..." Charles heard himself replying, yawning. 

"You ok? You seem tired. Did you manage to sleep at all?" Erik asked somewhat concerned. 

Charles froze. What if Erik  _knew!?_

"I slept fine! Don't worry about it!" his voice was harsher than he intended it to be and Erik quickly got up from the coffee table, looking confused. 

"Okay. There's toast, in case you eat breakfast." he said "I have to go now." 

"Okay. You don't have to tell me."  Charles replied. 

Why was Erik making him toast!? This whole thing was so confusing! Did Erik think Charles was so helpless or stupid that he could not make himself a toast!? That's insulting. 

"Of course not." Erik disappeared for a moment to change his shirt with a not so worn one and then grabbed his keys, suddenly in a hurry. "Can I at least say bye or...?" 

Charles swallowed and gave a little nod. 

"Bye then." Erik said and left. 

Charles was alone in the flat. Suddenly it felt like something was missing. 


	3. The Incident

Charles was inhabiting the flat for two weeks now and eventually he discovered that he was developing the most inconvenient crush ever. He was too attracted to his roommate Erik to think straight. As a matter of fact, nothing about his thoughts was straight. Nothing at all! That was starting to become an inconvenience. 

Especially since Erik had no clue about what was poor Charles going through. It made Charles oddly frustrated as if Erik had done him wrong which he had not. Charles was perfectly aware of it so he did his best to cover it by being nice. 

 _How can one be nice to one's roommate?_ \- Charles asked himself. _Why, one goes grocery shopping for them! For both of them. Together._ No, his mind was going in a wrong direction again. _Just grocery shopping, Charles, chill!_

"I'm going grocery shopping." he said out loud "Do you need me to buy you something?"  

_Damn! That sounded like I was gonna buy him a present! What if he thinks-- what if--_

"Umm, I was gonna do it myself, but thanks" Erik replied 

"No, it's fine. I'm going out to buy stuff for myself anyway so..." Charles reached for the shopping list Erik had prepared for his own shopping. 

"No umm..." Erik tried to stop him but Charles had already grabbed the piece of paper. 

His eyes ran down through the list, scanning it. 

"Condoms?" Charles arched an eyebrow 

Erik bit his lip to prevent himself from bursting out in laughter "People do use those, y'know." he said 

Charles's face was red as a tomato. He put the list back down on Erik's desk. "I'm not buying these for you!" he announced

"Well, technically I didn't ask you." Erik said, still calm and smiling

"Well, good, because I'm not buying them!" Charles was furious and the worst part was that he had no idea what he was so furious about. 

"What are you, 5?" Erik chuckled "We're grown up people, Charles. We're not kids anymore." he reminded him 

Charles bit his lip, looking away from Erik, not noticing the look Erik gave him meanwhile. 

"But if the idea makes you so uncomfortable..." Erik mumbled

"No! It's fine." Charles would not take his pity! No way! "I expected more food and less... other supplies, that's all."

Erik bit back a smile. "How about I just follow my original plan and go buy my own shopping?"

Charles nodded. 

"I appreciate the thought though. You're a good roommate." 

Charles tried to end this conversation as soon as he could manage and leave the flat. 

///

The first two weeks Erik did not have many people coming over which made Charles feel more comfortable; happy at the idea that his studies were not going to be disturbed by a noisy roommate and his noisy friends. In short, after the incident with the pretty blonde girl from the first day, there were hardly any visitors and Charles was pleased.

But imagine Charles' surprise when a couple of days after the condom incident ((as he inappropriately called it in his mind)) he came home and saw that very same blonde girl sitting on their couch. 

"Oh, hello, sugar" she greeted him when she noticed him standing in shock by the door, school books in his hands. 

"Hello?" he replied visibly confused

She chuckled to herself. Something was obviously amusing her but Charles was really pissed because he honestly had no idea what!

This girl was here now and Erik's grocery list from a day ago popped up in Charles' mind. Making the connection between those two things was inevitable. It was a lovers quarrel two weeks ago, they have probably made up now and yesterday Erik was preparing himself for her visit today. Charles' blood was boiling and he hated himself for it. He knew very well that he had no right whatsoever to be jealous. 

"You do remember me then?" she spoke and Charles nodded "Well, I think it is only logical we finally meet properly." she offered him her hand now -  _a hand Erik probably kisses, a hand that is probably running its long nail-polished fingers through Erik's awesome hair... okay, Charles, stop now!_ "I'm Emma Frost."

"Charles Xavier" Charles mumbled and his voice sounded too squeaky even in his own ears. 

"Yes, you're the roommate" she smiled. Everything about her seemed so elegant and yet, cold. She was dressed only in white and if Charles had to compare her to someone it would definitely be The Snow Queen from the fairy tale.

"Yes, and you're the-- girlfriend?"

This earned him another laughter from her.

"The girlfriend!" she repeated. _Not really denying it_ , he noted to himself.

Just as Charles was about to try and inquire more, purely out of scientific curiosity, Erik entered the room energetically. He seemed grumpy today, glared at Emma at first and then only for a moment at Charles.

"You should leave now" he told her bluntly, even somewhat rudely.

Charles felt uncomfortable. He definitely did not like Erik's girlfriend but the thought that the guy he was crushing so desperately on was a brute was not really appealing to him either.  

"Are you really throwing me out after everything we've been through?" she asked seemingly innocent. 

"It's time to leave, Emma. And you know it!" he insisted, not giving a damn about her damsel in distress parody. 

Charles felt the urge to say something. "If this is because of me, I can return later--" 

_Great! That was subtle, Charles!_

"Emma knows she has to leave" Erik said coldly and Charles was wondering who was the Snow Queen now. Well... king... Erik was obviously no queen... pity...

Emma and Erik exchanged a few more strange looks but despite Erik's harshness, Emma seemed really amused at something. She got up from the couch, chuckling. 

"I'll leave you, boys, alone then." she cooed "And don't forget about our plans for the weekend" she added

"How could I forget" Erik replied. 

Charles would expect Erik to say this with more affection, or at least some kind of emotion. However he said it coldly, distantly, as if it was nothing he was looking forward to. Not like a boyfriend would say it. Maybe they still had problems after all. 

When Emma left, Charles sat down in his usual place and opened a book. 

"You didn't interrupt, she's just a--" Erik started explaining himself and Charles just could not have that! 

"It's fine" he cut him off "I don't mind. And I don't want to know. It's your life." he said and added a smile. _Yes, that is what a good roommate who does not have a crush on Erik would do! Perfect!_

Erik looked at him kind of strange but nodded and said nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So soon I'm planning on showing what happened these days through Erik's perspective as well - we need to know both sides after all ;)  
> I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoy writing it :)


	4. The 'Hanging Out'

Erik knocked on Charles' door. 

"What are you doing?" he asked 

Charles lifted his head from the huge book he was reading and saw Erik leaning on the door frame.

"Studying." Charles replied, trying not to think about how dreamy Erik looked right now. 

"You've been here for hours." Erik noted

"So? I have a test." he replied

"So do I but I still find time to not study." 

"Well, you and I are two very different people" Charles shrugged and looked back at the book. Seriously, how could anyone be  _that_ gorgeous!?

He heard Erik getting inside his room. Oh! That has never happened before. Erik had always respected Charles'  boundaries; it was like an unspoken rule between them - their rooms were their sanctuaries. No trespassing. 

Charles looked up from his book again.

"Are we really?" Erik asked, crossing his hands.

"Yes." Charles nodded

"That's not a bad thing, surely. Diversity is good. Don't you think?" 

Erik looked weird. Like he was trying to be friendly but it really came off creepy. What were they even talking about? 

"Um, yes, diversity is good, I guess." Charles finally said "Depends on what exactly we're talking about." 

"What do you want us to talk about?" Erik asked with a smile. 

_How about we talk about that smile! Were you born with it or did you sell your soul for it? Do you practice that perfect smile in the mirror? Can I just kiss it?_

"I really have to study." Charles said.  _Yeah, right. Study._

"I'm sure you know everything already." Erik replied leaning on the bedpost now, just a little, enough to make Charles sweat. "Take a break. Why don't we go somewhere?" 

"Just us?" Charles asked surprised 

Erik nodded. "Sure. We could hang out for the rest of the afternoon. Spend some quality time and bond so you see what a great guy I am." 

He seemed so smug and yet so adorable. Charles was sure no one else could pull that look off as good as Erik did. 

Maybe Charles' face looked weird because Erik straightened up and his smile changed. 

"Of course, I'm not forcing you. It was just a thought." he said "We've been roommates for about two months now and most of the time you stay in this room reading." 

 _Most of the time you hang out with blonde girls. Well, one blonde girl... it was enough for Charles to hate blonde girls! No, wait. Raven was blonde and he did not hate her... Ugh! This logic is flawed,_ Charles realized and soon he also realized that Erik was still waiting for an answer. 

"Okay. I guess you have a point. Let's go do something today." he smiled 

Erik beamed. Charles was surprised at this reaction. Was this just because of their 'bonding'? 

"Great! I'll go change and we can..." 

"Yes. Good. You do that and I will too." 

"Good."

"Good."

"Good. ... Right! On my way!" and he rushed out of the room to get ready for their date... um, no! Not date. Male bonding time... roommate bonding time? Charles has to come up with a better name for them hanging out together. 

///

"You know, when you said we need to go bonding like roommates I did not expect that!" Charles laughed 

"Why not? It's fun, isn't it?" Erik grinned 

"I didn't say it wasn't!" Charles smiled brightly. 

"This place is just so comforting, isn't it? Especially when all the other people are gone" Erik said and Charles had to agree that it was beautiful.

Erik had brought Charles to a Dolphinarium. They actually had to drive an hour and a half to get to the thing, which meant a pleasant car ride with Charles blabbering and Erik listening to him with amusement. Charles was pretty sure he made a fool of himself. 

They were looking at the dolphins now and just as Charles was about to say something about the intelligence of these creatures and swamp Erik with tons of useless facts about things he never asked about in the first place, he felt Erik's hand wrapping around his wrist and pulling him somewhere away to some door close by. 

"No! It says 'Staff only'!" Charles exclaimed as Erik opened the door and pushed him inside a little too eagerly. "What the hell are you doing!?" 

Erik was grinning at him, the same amusement from the car ride on his face. He took off his shirt, the upper part of his body naked now. Charles' eyes got wide. 

"Come on, Charles!" Erik said excitedly, still grinning at him. "I know you want this. I could sense it." 

"Whaaaa?" Charles was sure if he had said another word it would be an embarrassing stutter. 

"I saw the way you looked at it." Erik said, surprised that Charles shows so little enthusiasm. 

"I swear I didn't look at it!" Charles blurted out "Well, maybe once or twice, incidentally but I promise I'd never do it again!" 

"What?" it was Erik's turn to be confused now. "There's nothing wrong with this, Charles. I know some don't get it and get anxious about it but I promise it's no trouble at all." he smiled and started looking for something in a huge wardrobe-like thingy in the room. "Besides, we'll do it safely."

Charles was too shocked to notice anything and too distracted by Erik's chest and arms and neck to think properly. 

"We will?" he heard himself ask

"Yes, of course." the other man nodded "Besides, dolphins are some of the most peaceful animals in the world. They would literally never harm you!" Erik assured him and handed him a bathing suit and a cap. 

Charles took them and stared at them blankly. 

"What's this for?" he asked 

"Don't you want to swim with the dolphins?" Erik asked smiling and unbuttoning his pants now.

"We're going to get in the tank with them!?" Charles exclaimed 

"Sure. Why else would I bring you here?" 

And by  _here_ he obviously meant this room. And this room was obviously where they kept bathing suits and caps and all kinds of things needed for the dolphins and apparently Erik worked here a while ago and still volunteered often so he got permanent pass for basically every part of the Dolphinarium. 

"We're getting inside the pool to swim with the dolphins? The ones I just saw?" Charles had to ask ten times just to be absolutely sure. 

"Yes." Erik said, getting behind a shelf to change in his bathing suit. Charles could only see his head and parts of his shoulders but that was enough to make him go all tingly. "Haven't you done it before? I have. It is an amazing feeling! I promise you will enjoy it! Such an experience!"

"Okay..." 

"Oh, sh!t!" Erik exclaimed, suddenly looking all nervous "You can swim, right? I didn't think to ask..." 

"Oh, I can swim! I can swim pretty... pretty well..." 

"Good! Get dressed then and I'll wait for you outside, ok?" Erik tapped him by the shoulder and left Charles alone to change. How thoughtful of him, Charles noted to himself and smiled as he started changing into his bathing suit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people actually like this fanfic! It's amazing! Thank you, dear Cherik-lovers! :D  
> I wanted to keep the idea that water is an important part of Charles and Erik's bond and relationship. And with the whole 'Erik is a shark' thing it really sort of fits in my head that he'd take Charles in the water, in his 'natural habitat' :L The dolphins are an extra because they're so cute! ^_^


	5. The Falling

That must have been the best time Charles ever had with anyone in a long time! Spending his time with Erik and the dolphins in the water was amazing, he felt like they were suspended in time and he never wanted it to end. He smiled and laughed and played with the dolphins, played with Erik and Erik had laughed too. His laughter was so genuine, so honest, Charles wished he could hear it all the time; he wished  _he_ could  _be the reason_ for it all the time. He wished...

There were several awkward moments during that day. When they were so close to one another both emotionally and physically Charles wished for more. Charles wished to kiss him instead of simply tapping his shoulder in a friendly way; he wished he could run his fingers through Erik's wet hair, he wished he could stroke those cheeks and kiss those smiling lips... But of course he could not! So he did not. Erik was Emma's. That much Charles knew by now. 

A couple of days ago Erik disappeared for the entire weekend and Charles soon found out where he was. Erik had spent the entire weekend with Emma at her father's boat party. So Charles could picture it all pretty well... Emma in her bikini and Erik in his... you know what?, it'd be better if Charles doesn't picture what Erik looked like on that boat right now. Yeah, leave that for some other more appropriate time when you're alone, Charles. But yes, Erik was on that boat party, probably bonding with Emma's father. Charles was disappointed - he knew Erik was dating Emma, the girl practically told that to everybody, but he did not think they were  _this_ serious.  _I guess they are. Erik's probably planning to propose to her at some point..._

"Are you okay?" Erik asked.

They were in that same room again, drying their hair and changing back to their own clothes. 

"Oh... yes, I am. I'm fine." Charles replied with a smile

"Good!" Erik grinned

"You know, you look like a shark when you grin" Charles blurted out

"Do I?" Erik laughed

"Mhm. In a good way." he quickly added

"Well, as far as I've heard the shark is the star in Jaws so... at least I resemble a celebrity"

Charles burst out laughing. Was the joke even that funny? Maybe it was the way Erik said things - so natural, spontaneous, passionate and meaningful... 

"I'll just go say goodbye to my friends here, they did let us in after all, and I'm all yours." Erik tapped him by the shoulder and left the room. 

Shoulder-tapping was their thing now. Charles had started it and Erik did not seem to mind or object, in fact, he turned it into a tradition.

 _I'll just say goodbye to my friends and I'm all yours..._ Erik had said.

"But you're not mine..." Charles whispered to himself in the lonely room of the Delphinarium. 

///

It was so difficult to act as if everything is normal when you are slowly coming to the realization that you are falling in love. He was terrified that Erik might figure it out. He just had to make sure Erik does not suspect anything about Charles' feelings or it could ruin their newly formed friendship. And Charles valued that friendship too much to risk it. That was the real test for Charles all those weeks after Erik took him to the Delphinarium. 

Erik was becoming Charles' friend and that was fantastic because Charles wanted them to be friends. But it was also so hard for him to be just his friend. He realized he had to move on. The only cure was to find a new crush. It can't be that hard for a young man in his 20's to find someone to crush on, right? Someone, anyone, as long as it was not his perfect roommate! Because Charles was beyond the illusion that he only liked Erik physically; it was way more complicated than that. Maybe it started with Charles gaping at Erik's perfect body, but as he got to know him better Charles realized he loved Erik's personality, he loved Erik's opinions, he loved Erik.

Distraction! Now! Quick! Anyone!

There was this boy at Charles' classes – Hank McCoy – a shy and intelligent student. Charles decided Hank was the perfect distraction!

He had flirted with him for the last couple days until Charles finally invited Hank over for a study date one evening to rub it in Erik’s nose. Yes, he wanted to show Erik that-- he wasn't sure what he wanted to show Erik but he wanted Erik to know that Charles was not secretly crushing on him... secretly falling in love with him. 

So, Hank, date night, studying. 

What started as studying the molecules turned into exchanging molecules in the form of making out on the living room couch.

“Is it okay that we’re here?” Hank pulled away to ask “I mean, wouldn’t your roommate mind?”

“Nah, he’s cool” Charles waved his hand dismissively and pressed for another kiss.

This was working. Charles almost was not imagining Erik instead of Hank... almost...

Hank stillseemed nervous but Charles did his best to sooth him. Apparently Hank was worried Erik might come home and walk in on them making out on the couch. But that was the least of Charles’ worries. In fact, Charles was the opposite of nervous about that. He was actually counting on it! He wanted Erik to walk in on them and see Charles could be just as passionate as any other guy in his 20’s. Of course he could not even dream of Erik actually being jealous but for some strange illogical reason Charles still wanted Erik to see him as an exciting lover. So he kept pressing his lips, face, hands on Hank in hope he was doing it right.

His effort did not go in vain. About 10 minutes into their making out Charles heard Erik’s footsteps – he could recognize them any time – and said loud enough to be heard by the person getting in the flat “My roommate will back any time. Wanna move this to my bedroom?”

Erik got home from a late lecture and the first thing to see was Charles on the couch with Hank.

“Oh” was all Erik said. It was a surprised ‘oh’. An ‘oh’ one regrets saying the moment it’s out of their mouth. It was not an angry ‘oh’, nor an impressed ‘oh’. It was the kind of ‘oh’ one utters involuntarily when one finds out that the store had ran out of their favourite beverage – like there’s nothing to do about it but it still kind of bugs you.

Charles could not have been more pleased.

He smiled. “Oh, hello, Erik. This is Hank McCoy. He’s a friend from university”

Hank let out a shy smile; his hands instantly up to fix his messy hair and put the glasses back on.

“So it is” Erik said, his lips pressed in a tight line “Hello, Hank.”

“Hello” hank replied, waving a hand for an awkward greeting

A small awkward pause.

“Do you want something to eat? I made pancakes” Charles said casually

“For dinner?” Hank butted in

“Ah, no, thank you.” Erik shook his head “I had a not so great day so I’ll just—“ he pointed at his room and started walking in that direction, trying to look as little in the direction of the couch as possible “You two kids, have fun” he said and that was it.

Erik was in his room for the rest of the evening. He did not got out even for his usual evening shower and by now Charles knew how much that little habit meant to Erik.

“Huh…” came out of Charles’ chest.

“So where were we?” Hank smiled, getting his confidence back all the sudden and pulling Charles back closer to himself.

Charles was confused. This did not feel the way he expected. He got Erik’s attention but the reaction was weird, unexpected and unreadable and frankly Charles did not know what to make of it. His goal was to keep Erik from discovering Charles' secret love for him. He had expected Erik to join them for a chat or a pancake; Charles and Hank would have been sitting there on the couch, close to one another, casually brushing their shoulders and glancing at each other, maybe even sharing a few little kisses in Erik’s presence. Perfectly normal. But all that was ruined by Erik’s moodiness.

The love mood was gone once the main reason for this whole charade was absent. Hank’s efforts to ‘bring back the romance’ were all in vain and eventually Charles smiled and politely let Hank know that if he’d left now Charles would not mind at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very soon I will start the Erik's POV of this story and I'm so excited! :D   
> I want to thank you all for reading! I'm trying to update this story as fast as I can for you, Cherik-lovers!   
> I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it :)


	6. The Aftermath

"So you and Hank...?" Erik mumbled the morning after while they were preparing and eating their breakfast. 

Charles had insisted they both eat a healthy breakfast each day because 'It's the most important meal of the day'. He actually said it just to say something so he does not get too distracted by the fact that Erik was still walking around in his towel after his morning shower... But Erik went with it, surprisingly, so Charles went with it too. And now each morning they were making breakfast together and eating together and talking about little things that meant so much. Charles was not complaining - he loved their little morning ritual - but he was also terrified not to be too obviously bewitched by Erik. Erik can never know how much exactly Charles loved him!

"Yes, Hank and I..." Charles nodded. 

"You two are serious then?" Erik asked, looking down in his plate

"Well..." Charles still could not completely lie to Erik "I like him but it's way too early to say I'm serious about him." 

"Oh." 

"Or him being serious about me!" he added quickly "It's really early in our relationship..."  _Nothing like you and Emma Frost..._ he added in his mind but dared not say it out loud. "I'd like to see where we go from here though, I'd like to explore a future there."   
  
 _Yeah, that sounded vague but persuasive!_  He congratulated himself.

"It's good." Erik said and then "I didn't know you were gay." he blurted out.

"No? Well, I am... I thought it was pretty obvious." Charles replied taken by surprise. 

Seriously!? Erik thought Charles was straight!? Well, bummer! He could spare himself all the nonsense with Hank just to throw Erik off track. Erik seemed off track already even without Charles acting like an idiot.

"You weren't." he said and smiled stiffly "In fact, every time you just seemed uninterested in the whole topic... I mean, I-- Well, I thought you didn't like the idea of a dude who likes dudes."

"What?" Charles laughed "You thought I was homophobic!?" 

"No! Not that. I just thought you weren't comfortable about it... that's all..." Erik said "But now you and Hank... Woah! That's good!" he quickly finished his breakfast "Well, I should go. I-- I have lectures..." 

"Now!?" 

"Yeah, it's umm-- it's an exception." 

"Oh..." Charles uttered "Well... see you later then..." 

"Yeah... actually no!" he stopped right before the door

"What?" 

"I'm finishing lectures late tonight and then I'm leaving... out of town for a while so... " he shrugged and let out an awkward smile that was really unusual for him.   
  
"How long will you be gone?" Charles inquired   
  
"A while... I don't really know..." he said, his voice sounding like nothing Charles had heard before "You can have the place all to yourself or find another roommate if you want, it's all good. Hey, you could get Hank here any time you like."   
  
Charles was silent for a moment, trying to will his face not to do something too embarrassing. 

"I'm not gonna see you soon, am I?" Charles asked quietly 

Erik shook his head. "It is possible." he said "At least not for a few months. I-- I don't know how long I'll be gone..."

"What about university?" Charles asked desperately as if he was counting on Erik's education to keep Erik closer

"I'll talk to my lecturers and I'll arrange something." he said

"Okay... That's good... Erik?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Did something happen?" Charles asked, his voice shaking

"No. Everything's fine." Erik replied quickly 

"Then why are you leaving?"

"It has nothing to do with university or-- or anything here. I just have some personal things to attend to, and think about... That's all." he smiled again "Nothing's wrong, Charles."

Charles nodded. "Okay... good luck with whatever it is you have to do..." 

And he watched Erik's back as he left. 

///

"He's going to propose to her." Charles was over the phone with Raven. He thought it was about time he filled her in with the gossip about his life. "He said  _I have some personal things to attend to, and think about._ It's clearer than day he's thinking of proposing to Emma."  
  
"Charles..."  
  
"He's considering it! Which is a mistake! I've seen her with him, she's all wrong for him! She doesn't deserve him and she's going to make him miserable! Also he's too young to get bl%dy married! I should've said something, Raven!" 

"Woah! Woah! Calm down, Charles." she used the little lull while Charles was taking a breath to say something too. "You're not sure that  _this_ is what he was planning. You, guys, never talked about Emma at all."

"That's because every time he mentions Emma I interrupt him and say it's none of my business and I don't care." he huffed 

"And why were you doing that?" Raven asked

"I couldn't bare hearing him talk about her, Raven..." Charles cried "He was obviously willing to confide in me about her and I just stopped him so rudely!" 

"I'm sure he didn't take offense, Charles" the eye roll could be heard over the phone.

"It wasn't just once. It was  _every single time_ he mentioned her or anything that has something to do with his love life..." Charles sighed "I lost him!"

"I thought you never had him in the first place..." 

"I lost him as a friend, Raven!" Charles explained "And it may sound like a cliche but I'd rather have Erik in my life, even if it's just as a friend, than not have Erik in my life at all..." 

"Aww, Charles! Charlie! I'm afraid you're in love! This is so cute... you know, if it wasn't so tragic..." 

"I can't let him marry Emma!" 

"Okay, so what's so wrong with Emma? Other than the obvious reason that your true love is shagging her?"

"Raven! Language!" 

"Oh, come on! Even now!?" 

"Even always. Language." 

"Fine!"

Charles sighed again. "She's not that bad, you see. That's not the problem." 

"What is it then?" 

"She doesn't act like a woman in love." he said "And he doesn't look like he's in love with her either. It looks like he's forced to be in her presence..." 

"Maybe he's marrying her for the money."

"Erik wouldn't do that! I know Erik. He probably..."

"... knocked her up!" Raven almost screamed in the phone 

"What!? No!" 

"Yes! He probably got her pregnant and that's what he has to attend to now!" she supplied "Think about it, his girlfriend is pregnant, he can't talk to you about it because of your obvious lack of interest in Emma and everything about her which he probably now explains with you being gay..." 

"... that doesn't make any sense..." 

"It does!" Raven insisted "Now he's somewhere in the middle of nowhere, trying to figure out what to do with rich daddy's daughter." 

"Oh, my God! This could be true!" 

"What other explanation do you have, big brother?" 

"I thought he didn't feel comfortable with me being gay and he left me..." 

"You always make _everything about you_!" Raven's famous eye roll could again be heard over the phone "Erik leaving town for an unidentified period of time has nothing to do with you, Charles." 

"Of course it doesn't..." 

Raven could not say if Charles was relieved or disappointed by that fact. 

"So what are you gonna do, Charles?" she asked 

"He can't marry Emma!" Charles said firmly "Not without love!" 

"Okay. I agree." she said and then "And what are you going to do about that, Charles?"   
  
Charles sighed.

"Eat chocolate ice cream, watch crappy TV and cry my eyes out...?"

"Aww, Charles..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Two chapters in one day! Told you I'm doing the best I can to update soon for you, Cherik-lovers! ;)   
> The story is coming to an end soon though. I'm really excited about it! ^-^


	7. The Housewarming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers!  
> Sorry for the late update. I'll try to update more often from now on! 
> 
> This is the first of the chapters that show us Erik's side of the story and it starts from right before Charles arrives to their shared apartment. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :)

Erik loved his new apartment the university was offering him. It wasn't much but it was so much better than the dump he used to live in before. And it wasn't as expensive as his other options. Now it seemed his luck was finally turning around. He even had the feeling that this new apartment was going to be a good thing in his life. 

The doorbell rang. "Emma!" he exclaimed when he opened the door. 

"Hello, sugar." she exposed her pearl-white teeth. "Surprised?"

"I thought it was my new roommate." he explained

She chuckled.  

"Why are you here?" Erik asked. 

"Won't you offer me a drink first?" she said, making her way inside the apartment. "I can see you're still moving in. The place is a mess. I could help you unpack."

"I don't remember this being part of your duties." Erik replied. 

Emma only smiled again. "I'm not leaving yet so close that door and come sit with me." she made herself comfortable on the sofa and patted the seat next to her. 

Erik rolled his eyes but did as she said. It was obvious she came to hang out and celebrate the new apartment. It was like a housewarming party but with just the two of them and not really partying. 

"You really need to show more enthusiasm in this, Erik." she moved closer to him

"No one's around. Why would I?" Erik replied 

She chuckled "Don't be a meanie. I won't leave you here alone, drinking cheap beer!" 

Erik sighed. "I won't be alone for too long. I'm expecting my new roommate. He should arrive here today or tomorrow. You know I suck at socializing." he rolled his eyes "Imagine me with a freaking roommate. I'll scare him to death!" 

"Him? You just assume it has to be a guy?" she raised a beautifully shaped eyebrow. 

"Statistically, girls prefer other girls to be their roommates." Erik said flatly "So yeah, I suppose that goes in their list of preferences."

Emma shrugged "I'm just saying not all girls are the same." 

Erik opened another beer. 

"Okay!" she nodded "I can see what's happening. I understand that you're gonna ignore my subtle signs so I'll just say it then! I can be your roommate." 

He laughed. 

"Oh, shut up! I have enough influence to make them assign me here with you. I can be your roommate! Why not?" 

"You? Really? I don't doubt your ' _influence_ ' but really, Emma. You can afford so much more that this place!" Erik said, still amused. 

She frowned. "My parents can." she corrected him "And what of it anyway? I can still choose to share a place with you."

Erik suddenly did not find it this funny anymore. 

"Emma... I think we're such human beings that... require ummm... require to spend time apart from time to time..." he mumbled 

"Woah! You're really such a gentleman!" she said with a sarcastic smile

"Emma, I just--"

"Okay! I got it!" she cut him off 

"Emma, you're the best friend I ever had." Erik said, meaning every word of it. "Please, I don't want to lose that." 

"Just a friend." she let out an almost sheepish smile

"Best friend." he corrected her.

Now her face was back to normal and they continued drinking Erik's cheap beer and unpacking. 

"You have so much junk, Erik!" she laughed. 

"Hopefully da roommate won't be too picky." he grinned his shark grin. 

Emma's cheeks were pink from what she drank. She laughed. Erik shook his head with a tsk. He knew he was one of the few people on the planet fortunate enough to see Emma let go of her guard. 

"What is your dream guy, then?" she asked, taking another sip as she threw out an old baseball glove that Erik was definitely not going to use. "The roommate, I mean."

"I just hope he's not one of those guys that demand attention all the time and expect me to actually converse with them." Erik said quickly, he obviously had been thinking about this already.

"Sounds legitimate." she nodded. 

"You know, someone who won't distract me by being annoying." Erik continued "Preferably he'd stay in his room most of the time or be outdoors so he's not in my way. And he should  _not_ leave a mess!" 

Emma burst into laughter at the last one. "Erik, your whole place is a mess! You're not the perfect roommate either." 

He only shrugged. 

They continued with the boxes until everything looked a bit less of a mess. Then both of them flopped on the sofa to rest and finish what was left of the beers.

"Your guy's late." Emma said flatly, staring at the blank TV.

"Yeah." Erik agreed.

"Maybe he won't be here until tomorrow." she said 

Erik shrugged. 

"He's keeping you waiting!" she chuckled "He's a tease." 

"Oh, don't go there."

"You're probably gonna fall for him." another sip 

"Falling for the roommate, such a cliche!" Erik laughed "Not something I'd do."

"Of course. You don't fall for anyone, do you?" she sighed

"Hey! You're the only one for me!" he said raising his beer as if for a toast. "Cheers!" 

She looked up at him while he was drinking. 

"Which reminds me..." he continued, throwing the empty can in the trash and looking at Emma again, "do we have any plans this weekend?" 

She shook her head absentmindedly "Nothing until the boat thing with my dad." she replied, leaning in closer to him. 

"Good." he nodded.

Accompanying her at such places was part of their deal. It was a pretty straight forward proposition. Emma was his best friend for ages and when she asked him to pretend to be her date at a wedding she was invited to, he agreed. After this event went so well Emma asked him to continue with the pretend dating to piss her parents off. They were giving her a hard time, making her meet with eligible bachelors of their own choice. So dating Erik who was, no offence, in no way eligible, was a the perfect way to both get rid of her other candidates and get back at her folks for the nerve. All he had to do was to appear with her here and there and hold hands. He had agreed to that too. Emma really was his best friend. She suited him as a friend. She looked cold and sarcastic but she was clever and funny and he knew what she was like underneath her icy exterior. She was a lot like Erik and he felt comfortable around her, like he did not have to explain himself to her. Like she understood his quirks and accepted them without passing judgement, sometimes even without deeming them as something peculiar. It was nice to feel at such ease with someone and in Erik's case having such a person in his life did not happen often!

"This place is still a mess..." Erik noted, scanning the room. 

Emma gave no reply. When he looked back at her he felt her lips were on his, a gentle but demanding hand wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. 

It all happened in a blink of an eye. Erik did not see it coming, he was too startled to react at first. 

She took this as an encouragement and tried to deepen the kiss when he had to stop her. 

"Emma, Emma, no." he said, taking her hands off of himself.

"May I remind you that only a week ago you were making out with me!" she asked, challenge in her voice.

Erik sighed "You said I had to because your parents weren't buying it!"

"You're the most unconvincing boyfriend ever, Erik Lehnsherr!"

"That's because I'm  _not_ your boyfriend!" he waved his hands in ex exasperation. "If I knew this would happen I would never have had agreed on your proposition!"

She got closer to him again, putting her leg above his "Just try, Erik. What's the harm in trying?"

"Emma, you know I'm gay!" he said "What are you even trying to do now?" 

"What do you think?" she breathed in his ear

"This is ridiculous!" he snapped, pushing her away, not to hard but energetically enough.

He got up from the sofa and strode to the fridge, suddenly feeling the need for another beer.

He had his suspicions that something was different recently. Ever since that stupid kiss at her sister's birthday party Emma had changed and Erik did not like it. He was afraid he was losing his friend and was determined to prevent this disaster. But if Emma was developing a crush on him... _This_ was the real reason he did not want Emma to be his roommate!  _He needed a roommate that was not crushing on him!_ And he had to get Emma to come back to her senses, even if he had to be cruel.

When he turned around again Emma was already mostly naked, smiling at him. _Why was this happening!?_

"Are you sure you're gay?" she sing-songed almost playfully. 

"Oh, I am really sure." Erik replied "You are a beautiful woman, Emma, I've always thought that. But you are my friend and frankly I'm looking for different body parts in my lovers."

"I've never had complaints before..."

Seeing how determined she was he realized it was time to be firm. "You're drunk and I'm not interested." he said flatly "So get lost." 

Erik has seen Emma happy, sad, mad, classy, angry, flirty, intimidating, funny... He had seen Emma in many different emotional states. But he had _never_ seen what a really furious Emma Frost looked like. Until now. 


	8. The Xavier

_Erik closed his eyes, feeling the fresh breeze on his face. He had come here to forget Charles, to get over him. But the more he pushed Charles away from his mind, the more he realized that this was an impossible task. Charles was basically all he could see - the sky, the sea, the flowers, the dirt, the ground, the metal, the houses, everything reminded him of Charles; everything was shaped as Charles. It was ridiculous! He came here to escape seeing Charles, but he forgot that Charles was always going to be by his side. Because Charles was now a permanent resident in his heart..._

_As Erik closed his eyes now he could remember every little detail, every incident, every misunderstanding, every word, every look they ever exchanged. Right from that first day when he walked in the room and saw... Charles._

///

Emma was furious when Erik rejected her. He had to end this eventually.

"Emma, just listen to me, damn it!" he finally lost it

"I don't even want to see you right now, Erik!"

Erik knew what that certain note in her voice meant - she was hurt. He could not help that though. There was nothing he could do. 

"Emma, I love you but I just don't  _love_  you." he explained. 

Emma listed a bunch of suggestions about what Erik should do to himself and started furiously picking her clothes up. 

"You will realize I was right eventually." Erik said, surprised at how calm he sounded despite all the emotions he felt.

And with that said Erik went to his room, closing the door, letting her get dressed in private.

Her yelling continued and he tried not to listen. He thought it'd be better to just let her get it all out. He could not do anything about the way she felt anyway. Comforting her would only make her hurt more. It was pointless. This was a band-aid and it had to be ripped off in one quick pull. 

He needed air, he needed a break from this, he wanted to be far away from here. Emma. His best friend Emma. The one he knew for so long. The one that was like a sister to him. Emma... What had happened!? 

He opened the window in his room and leaned in on it, almost half of his body outside now. He let out a sigh and allowed his mind to get lost in thoughts. 

He was desperately hoping to come up with a solution that would both 'cure' Emma of her crush and allow him to preserve their friendship. Naturally, that seemed hardly possible now. Emma's pride was hurt and he knew what that meant to her.

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted. It wasn't a noise that attracted his attention, it was the silence. Emma had stopped yelling from the other room. A vague feeling of hope crept in his heart. Maybe she had calmed down. Maybe she realized he was not really to be blamed. Maybe she'd offer them to forget this whole thing even happened. 

He rushed towards the door and once again realized that hope was for naive fools. To Erik's disappointment Emma was not in the living room at all. Instead of Emma he saw a chubby blue-eyed creature with brown locks framing his forehead. Erik frowned. 

"What do you want?" he asked, maybe a bit too harshly. 

Apparently the answer to this question was too difficult because his guest took some time before he managed to reply in a pleasant British accent. "Charles Xavier"

Great! That's all he needed! A stupid misunderstanding. Someone looking for the wrong person in _his_ new flat!

"No Charles Xavier here, sorry" he shrugged.

But instead of excusing himself and leaving the young man in the blue cardigan kept pointing at himself repeatedly as he said: "No, I'm Charles Xavier!"

 _The man is a fool,_ Erik deduced instantly. 

"Riiight. So what?" he asked out loud

The blue-eyed cherry-lipped creature smiled and beamed with inexplicable joy that confused Erik. "I'm your new roommate" he announced. 

 _Oh, please no!_ Was that da roommate!? This little thing that smiled for no obvious reason is his new roommate? This baby-face with neat clothes, every single hair on his head in just the right place? He seemed so tidy Erik felt like a slob next to him!

Erik looked around the living room, suddenly feeling self-conscious for the mess. His _roommate_ was probably judging him right now. 

"Oh... Well... I better clean this up then..." he hastly started picking up some of the clothes that were on the floor.

Clothes like Emma's stockings! He quickly shoved those before the roommate notices them. Then it hit him - Charles had probably met Emma. Half-naked Emma, angry Emma, shouting an ode of curses dedicated to Erik Emma. He remembered hearing something about _the biggest ass that walked the earth_. Yeah, that will go down in history.

"So you're Erik?" he heard the soft British accent again 

"Yeah." he nodded "Erik Lehnsherr. Also known as the biggest ass that walked the earth? Am I quoting it right?"

Well, that was definitely an impressive and memorable introduction! 

"Oh... you heard that then." baby face--umm, Xavier... Charles asked

"Yeah, kinda obvious, wasn't it." Erik replied, trying not to be sarcastic. Did this boy think Erik was deaf? 

"Who-- who... who was she?" 

And there we go again! Another human being with passion for sticking their nose in other people's business. He only arrived half a minute ago and he's already started with the cross examination? No way! Erik's not tolerating that! 

"You're curious, aren't you?" he grinned, as he looked at Charles head to toe.

"Maybe it's none of my business..."

 _You think?_ Erik thought but then he noticed that Charles looked kind of embarrassed so he felt a hint of guilt in his chest. Just a hint.

"Which room is mine?" Charles asked and they were back to business. 

Erik quickly showed Charles the room that was supposed to be his - the smelly one - and graciously offered to switch. It was obvious this little naive thing would never cause any trouble. Erik did not expect any scenes from Charles about the room or the smell of paint. He would probably rather suffocate in his warm blue cardigan than cause trouble. And just as expected Charles said he was fine with this room and the smell of chemicals. _How predictable_! Erik thought. His new roommate was a cute little nerdy guy who still felt and acted like a schoolboy. Erik could not help the grin on his face as he shook Charles' hand and then watched Charles giving another awkward smile and disappearing inside his new room. 

///

Erik was sitting comfortably in the armchair opposite Charles' room. The roommate had left the door open and Erik could easily see him unpack.Charles was carefully folding each piece of clothing and then placing it on its new spot in his wardrobe. This activity was performed like a ritual and Erik could not help observing it; tilting his head and following each movement with great interest. 

This guy was ridiculous! How many blue cardigans can a person own anyway!? And who folds clothes like that!? Why was Charles in such a hurry to find the right place for each of his belongings right from the first day? Erik was here earlier and he still hadn't got all his stuff sorted. And the way Charles was placing his belongings so tentatively on the precise spot that he deemed perfect for them... Erik was sensing a case of OCD there. 

That was not all he was sensing. Now that the painted room was open again the smell of chemicals practically hit him in the nose. It got even worse as he got closer. Erik knew the smell was bad but until now he had not realized just how strong it was! This little guy would definitely get killed in this stench! 

Erik got up from the armchair and walked to his roommate's door. 

"Will it be okay?" he asked, leaning on the door frame "Can you stay in that room?"

"Um, yeah, I'll be fine." Charles said, ignoring him completely as he continued folding his ridiculous clothes. 

Erik was not convinced. 

"You sure? The smell is pretty bad. I've heard it could be dangerous." he said and added with a smirk "You don't seem like a strong guy." he teased

"I'm fine!" the words sounded abrupt and almost annoyed. 

Erik shrugged "If you change your mind and realize you can't stand it, we can share mine" 

Charles ignored him even more, almost stepping inside that closet of his so Erik could not even see him now. "I don't think it'll get to that." he heard Charles say from inside the wardrobe. 

 _Well, if that wasn't a not so subtle hint for Erik to get lost, nothing was_! It was unexpected from a seemingly fragile person like Charles.

"Oh... of course... yes. Sure. I'll just..." Erik jerked his hand in the direction of the kitchen "... be there then." he said, then quickly strode back to his room, closed the door and decided not to get out of there for the rest of the day. 


	9. The De-Frost-ing

The next morning Erik went to the kitchen and started preparing his breakfast, humming quietly to himself like he usually did. He set his toast on the bar plot and was about to start eating when he noticed Charles who was sleeping on their couch. Apparently Erik was so deep in thought it took him ten minutes to actually notice his roommate there.

Erik walked closer to the sleeping Charles. As he looked at his roommate's face, Erik slowly sat down on the coffee table. Xavier looked like one of those cute animals that people constantly squeaked about. A smile crept on Erik's lips before his brain could register why. By the time Charles moved and opened his eyes, [Erik was already grinning](https://33.media.tumblr.com/2c9147fab4be276dbca6c32d5fb9bfde/tumblr_nv8cmcCplW1sgrr3ko2_400.gif). 

"You couldn't stand the smell after all" he said amused. 

[Charles looked up at him](https://31.media.tumblr.com/5c68e0e0dee1f9ad2dc1efb51d531922/tumblr_nv8cmcCplW1sgrr3ko1_250.gif), then rubbed his eyes and replied. "It was messing with my head..." he yawned. 

Erik noticed his roommate seemed tired but the moment he suggested that to him, Charles seemed annoyed again. "I slept fine! Don't worry about it!" he snapped. 

Erik froze for a moment. It was unusual and ironic that Erik would be the friendly one this time. Usually it was the other way around - Erik was the irritable asocial guy and the rest of the world were idiots who tried to talk to him. But nope, not this time. 

He got up from the coffee table, feeling somewhat awkward in this new situation.  

"Okay. There's toast, in case you eat breakfast." It was actually his toast but suddenly he did not feel hungry anymore. "I have to go now." he said.

///

It took her almost two weeks but Emma finally called again. Erik was nervous when he heard her voice over the telephone - she could still be hurt or angry. 

 _"Erik, I think we need to talk. I'll come over tomorrow."_ She announced

"No! Umm... come now. I'm alone and we can talk properly." he said 

And so he waited for her to arrive in all her white glory. 

"Erik! Hi..." she gave him a little smile and attempted to greet him with a hug but Erik pulled away. He could not risk giving her the wrong impression. "I see..." she nodded, the smile still not leaving her face as she got in the flat. 

Erik closed the door behind her and stood up, crossing his arms, waiting for her to speak. 

She took her time, walked around and then finally sat on that same couch as the last time and tapped the seat next to her for Erik. Erik only looked down at his shoes but did not move from his place. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Erik, I'm not going to eat you!" she rolled her eyes

"Emma, you're my best friend--" 

"... your only friend..." 

"... my only friend. I don't want to ruin it but I cannot--" 

"I know. I'm not an idiot." she cut him off "You're my best friend too, Erik, my only friend actually--" 

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "You have other friends too, Emma." 

"Maybe, but not as true as you." she added, her face serious. Erik realized that this was not easy for her to say, opening up to him again, being vulnerable - the things she hated the most. She continued "So my only true friend..." he did not correct her this time, she probably had a point there. "We were so good together, Erik." 

"As friends" he reminded her

"... as friends." she agreed "I guess I got a bit ahead of myself, thinking that how lovely it would've been if-- but you were right."

I know I was." Erik said in all his smugness 

She frowned "Shut up! I'm apologizing" 

"Then buy me a huge metal submarine." he grinned, sitting down next to her 

She laughed "What are you gonna do with it? Shove it up your--" 

"Okay! You apologized, now you're free to go." he laughed too

She smiled warmly like she only did when she smiled at him and Erik felt his chest tighten. 

"How's the roommate life?" she changed the subject

"Umm, good. My roommate is a nice fellow." 

She raised a perfect eyebrow at him "Oh?" 

"What _oh_?" 

"A nice fellow! Lehnsherr, this coming from you sounds like a love declaration." 

"Stop shipping me with people, Emma." 

"That's what friends do, sugar. Besides, I managed to glance at your new roommate and my oh my... he's your type for sure."

"What!?" Erik snorted

"Yes!" Emma continued "He looks like that James McAvoy guy that you keep drooling at when we watched Starter For 10"

"He doesn't look like-- I wasn't drooling!" 

"You so were! I'm your best friend, sugar, I can tell." 

Erik rolled his eyes again. 

"So you like him?" 

"Maybe a little..." 

"You have a crush on him?" 

"Don't go that far." Erik protested "He's cute and sweet and it's funny how he has these little routines about everything, like when he wakes up he--" Erik cut himself off, noticing the expression on Emma's face. "Anyway, even if I like him a bit, nothing will come out of it." he said, suppressing a sigh "He's straight." 

"He is!?" she sounded surprised

"Yeah..."  Erik nodded

"Are you sure?" she asked 

"Positive. He keeps talking to a certain Raven on the phone almost every free second he gets." 

"Oh..." 

"Yeah... so he's taken." he tried to sound unaffected by this

"I'm sorry, Erik..." Emma said quietly

"Hey! Why? It's no big deal. It's not like I'm in love with him" he laughed and she joined in. 

They spent about an hour laughing and teasing each other like they used to before and eventually the old friendship resurfaced again. Erik was happy about this and judging by Emma's face, so was she. 

"Don't flirt too much with your roommate, Lehnsherr, you're still my boyfriend in the eyes of everyone else!" she said 

"We're still doing that?" he asked surprised

"Why do you think I came to apologize?" she joked "Good fake boyfriends are hard to find. And there's this family gathering this weekend..." 

"Oh, I see now!" he rolled his eyes 

"You'll be there, right? I need you by my side!" 

Erik nodded. "Of course. I'm by your side, Emma." she smiled again and he remembered something "You left one of your earrings here the last time. I'll go get it for you." he said, getting up from the sofa. 

Emma looked after him for a moment, a certain content settling inside her. Yes, their friendship meant so much. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone getting in the flat. She turned towards the door to see _the roommate, the crush._ So Emma looked at him head to toe, evaluating him. The boy looked like a kid hugging those huge books close to his chest, staring at her in shock. It was adorable and amusing, like watching a kitten. Yes, she could definitely see that Charles was Erik's type. Erik liked sweetness, he liked cute. Emma sighed internally but on the outside she melted into a welcoming smile and decided to greet the kitten. 

"Oh, hello, sugar" she said amused 

Charles seemed even more confused now, as if he didn't know how to respond to a hello.  _Really, Erik, can't you at least once pick brains over looks!?_ she chuckled to herself.

"You do remember me then?" she spoke again and Charles nodded "Well, I think it is only logical we finally meet properly." she offered him her hand now "I'm Emma Frost."

"C-charles Xavier" he mumbled 

"Yes, you're the roommate" 

The _nice fellow_ , as Erik called him, nodded and added with a certain bite to his voice "Yes, and you're the-- _girlfriend_."

His eyes were expecting a confirmation from her, despite the fact that his statement did not sound like a question at all. Erik's girlfriend! Oh, boy, you couldn't be further away from the truth. She was and always will be just his friend, his best bro. So she did as she always does and laughed at the thought "The girlfriend!" 

Erik heard voices and laughter from the other room and rushed back before Emma had the chance to blurt out something stupid and embarrass Erik for his silly infatuation with Charles' hair, eyes and lips. 

He glanced at Charles' red cheeks and then glared at Emma. 

"You should leave now" he told her bluntly, urging her to get up and get out.

"Are you really throwing me out after everything we've been through?" she asked seemingly innocent. Teasing Erik about a crush was not something she could do every day - Erik rarely had a crush - so she was not going to waste this opportunity. 

"It's time to leave, Emma. And you know it!" he insisted, giving her a look with a meaning only she could understand.  

"If this is because of me, I can return later--" Charles butted in but Erik interrupted him 

"Emma knows she has to leave" he said

Emma and Erik exchanged a few more strange looks but despite Erik's harshness, Emma was really amused. Damn it, she could read him like an open book!

Emma got up from the couch, chuckling. "I'll leave you, boys, alone then." she cooed and Erik wished he could strangle her right now. But he didn't because he loved her after all. "And don't forget about our plans for the weekend" she added on her way out.

"How could I forget" Erik replied. 

Emma left and Erik felt awkward when it was just him and Charles again. He felt the strange need to explain to Charles that he's only doing Emma a favour. 

Charles sat down in his usual place and opened a book. Talk about ignoring Erik completely! 

"You didn't interrupt, she's just a--" Erik started explaining himself, his voice sounding stupidly awkward and sheepish to his own ears.

"It's fine" Charles cut him off rather coldly "I don't mind. And I don't want to know. It's your life." 

Erik looked at him for a long time. Charles really did not care, and why would he!? Erik brain new it, Erik's mind accepted it, then why did Erik's heart feel such a strange pain...?


	10. The X-men

All Erik wanted of his roommate was to be quiet and not be in his way. Charles Xavier was exactly that. So why did this annoy Erik so much?

The boy was never loud, rarely around keeping mostly to himself in his room, he didn't talk much, he didn't make a mess. He was the perfect roommate and Erik hated it! 

Why wasn't Charles in Erik's way all the time? Why wasn't Charles trying to annoy Erik with stupid conversations like other roommates did? Why wasn't Charles around him more often? 

After spending nearly a month wondering, Erik finally realized that he was not entirely opposed to the idea of spending more time with Charles.

What could be done about it? When the Charles won't talk to you, you talk to the Charles.

So Erik did his best to be sociable with Charles, pay more attention to Charles, get Charles' attention in return... Erik even took Charles out to that dolphinarium he used to work in. It was a risky idea - Charles could've thought it was weird and too much date-like and refuse. But luckily he was probably getting a headache with all that reading and said yes to Erik's idea. And that was the best day Erik had in a long time! Charles' eyes were sparkling, he was talking enthusiastically, being dorky and adorable like never before and Erik felt he was falling harder than ever.

By the time they got home, Erik was in love and he wasn't even sure when it hit him, he only knew he was wounded and and the name of this wound was Charles.

///

“Erik!” Charles exclaimed when Erik slammed the front door and put a six pack on the kitchen counter. “What’s this? Are you expecting someone?”

Charles seemed a worried at the prospect and Erik couldn’t help chuckling at that cute expression on his face.

“No.” Erik shook his head, voice amused “This is for us.”

“For us?” Charles repeated, wide blue eyes fixed on Erik in surprise.

“Yes.” Erik announced “It’s Friday, which means no studying, no university tomorrow and no other humans. Just you, me, that TV and this beer.”

“I don’t really like beer that mu—“ Charles started but Erik quickly cut him off

“It’s German beer, das beste!” he said and tapped Charles on the shoulder, imitating Charles who started doing that a while ago. “Come on, you have to drink with me!”

Charles was still hesitating.

“Besides, it’s just us. What could go wrong?” Erik added with a smirk.

Charles sighed. “Yeah, okay. Fine.”

“Good! You choose the movie then, I’ll bring the beer.”

Charles nodded.

A few minutes later the two were laughing together, sitting comfortably on the couch, Charles preparing the movie.

“What shall it be?” Erik asked

Charles gave him a look. “You really care?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Sure I do!” Erik shrugged

“I was under the impression you were just interested in making me drink.” Charles chuckled and oh, those eyes were sparkling again. Erik realized he was holding his breath for some reason and furrowed his brow. _This was ridiculous!_

“I just wanted a nice evening.”

“Okay.”

“What are we watching?” Erik inquired

“X-men.” Charles said.

Erik laughed “Seriously?”

“Why not?” Charles’ blue blue eyes looked up at him again

“You’re such a nerd!” Erik said fondly

“Whatever” Charles shrugged “It’s a good movie.”

“Right. I bet you read all the comic books too.”

“Haven’t you?”

Erik shrugged with a smile “Maybe yes, maybe not. You’ll never know.”

Charles shook his head with a chuckle. "You're impossible, my friend!"

"I prefer exceptional" Erik winked. "So the X-men. Are you calling them the Xavier men in your mind?"

Charles glared and Erik couldn't help the huge grin on his face. Teasing Charles somehow became his new favourite thing because he just loved seeing Charles blush, chuckle, roll his eyes at him or bite his lips.

They started watching but Erik couldn’t let this go. He needed to talk to Charles, to tease Charles, to hear Charles' voice and watch his every reaction.

“Why are you staring at me, Erik?” Charles finally asked and Erik cursed himself for being so obvious.

“No reason." Erik replied "I just realized why you like that movie so much.” He winked

Charles raised an eyebrow “Oh? And why is that?”

Erik pointed at the TV “The Wolverine!”

“What?

“You like those X-men movies way too much” . Erik continued “It’s almost like you’re having a crush!” he chuckled “It’s the Wolverine, right? You like the Wolverine!”

“What? No! Stop that!” Charles blushed rapidly and Erik noticed

“You do! You so do!” he grinned, enjoying how cute Charles looked at that moment “Would Hugh Jackman be your only gay experience? Is he the one you’d go gay for?”

Charles frowned at his words.

“My only gay experience?” Charles repeated and Erik regretted his words instantly.

“Um, sorry. I went out of line there. I— It’s none of my business anyway.”

Charles frowned even more, concentrating all his attention to the movie now. "Let's just watch." he said and let the subject die but Erik could not shake the bad feeling of uneasiness in his stomach. Charles was not comfortable with the mere mention of the word gay and apparently Erik should just stop dreaming.

“Charles, I really just wanted a nice evening…” Erik said

Charles pursed his lips. “Not with your girlfriend? Wouldn’t that be nicer?”

 _No_! Erik wanted to scream. Charles still thought Emma was his girl. Well, maybe that was for the best!

“She’s busy.” He said, trying not to sound bitter “So you’ll have to take her place for the time being.”

It was a bold move. Erik realized that after he had said it, when he noticed Charles was staring at him, blinking in confusion.

"Take her place where?" Charles finally said

“Umm, no where... I mean, here watching the movie."  _nice safe, Erik. Now just change the subject..._ "Are you okay?"

“What? Yes… fine…” Charles cleared his throat and shifted into his seat.

“You seem uncomfortable…”

“I’m perfectly fine, thank you!” Charles blurted out “You’re missing the movie.”

“Right.” Erik started paying attention to the TV again, not really sure what happened to Charles’ mood. Surely one small remark comparing him with his girlfriend could not have offended him this much.

“I need something stronger.” Charles suddenly said and got up from the couch.

Erik’s eyes followed him as he returned with a bottle of scotch from his bedroom. Erik’s eyebrows shot up.

“And here I was, thinking you’re a good kid!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Erik. I’ve been drunk before.” Charles said, furrowing his brows and pouring a glass for Erik as well.

It sounded like he was angry again which confused Erik even more. Did Charles really dislike him that much!? Why? He needed to try harder, to win Charles… well, to win him as a friend at least. But weren't they friends already? And they had a great time the last time they hung out together...

Charles puffed a lock of that soft hair away from his forehead. Erik held his breath again. Was it really a wise idea to be friends with the one person you wanted more than anything…? So ridiculous! Erik tried to concentrate on the movie again, while Charles got more comfortable on the couch with whatever was left of that bottle in his hands.

Erik drank from his own glass, commenting about the movie from time to time when he suddenly found himself in the position of a pillow. Charles’ head was resting on his shoulder and all Erik could think now was soft hair that smelled like shampoo and Charles and that soft hair was right in his face.

Erik swallowed, carefully leaving the glass on the side so it won’t be in the way.

“Umm, Charles?” he said carefully “Are you okay…? Char—Oh… are you sleeping, Charles?”

Erik carefully took a look at Charles’ face as much as he could without disturbing the man. Charles was indeed asleep.

“Okay…”

It was the final battle in the movie, quite loud a scene, but Charles was still sleeping like a baby. Erik stood there, not moving so that Charles could relax properly. He continued watching the movie.

By the end of X-men, Charles’ arms were wrapped around Erik, as was Charles’ leg.

“Okay…” Erik sighed.

Charles felt warm and looked so cute sleeping on him like that. Erik tried hard not to melt into a loving smile but it was too late. He was a lost cause.

Erik let out another sigh and wrapped his own arms around Charles too. They spend movie night, cuddled in one another on the couch and Erik be damned if that wasn't the best Friday of his life.


	11. The Thunder

Eventually Erik had to put Charles back to his own bed and let him rest there. So he carried his roommate to his room, gently put him on the bed, trying not to imagine other scenarios that could've started with a similar action. Charles only moaned slightly, then shifted in bed and continued sleeping. Erik smiled - how adorable - and then tugged Charles in and left the room to clean up the living room. 

Erik was glad Charles slept in the next morning. He wasn't really ready to face him after knowing the feeling of snuggling Charles. He also wasn't sure if Charles would be angry at him for not shoving him off instantly. All in all, it was better to avoid Charles for a while, until he got a better grasp on his own feelings, and for that he was glad that Emma had asked him to 'be by her side' that weekend. That was probably exactly the sort of distraction he could use. To remind himself that Charles was just a guy and this silly crush meant nothing. Erik was determined to get over it. Most of all he was determined to prove to himself that Charles meant nothing. Nothing special. 

///

"Erik, love!" Emma greeted him with kisses on both cheeks. 

Erik frowned but they were in public and she had a good excuse to touch him as much as she liked. He gave her a _r_ _eal classy, Emma!_ look which she did her best to ignore completely, squeezing her arm around his and gently leaning on his shoulder. 

"I missed you..." she uttered

"I think you're overdoing it." he whispered in reply 

She chuckled and punched his bicep playfully as they got up on the yacht.

"So why are we here again?" Erik asked because he realized Emma gave no actual explanation about that. 

"My dad's organizing this yacht party/trip to annoy me." she said with a huge smile so that everyone else would think they're having a pleasant conversation. 

"Who is it this time?" Erik sighed. He knew that whenever there was a party that Emma wanted him to attend, there was always a guy that she wanted Erik to scare off. 

"Sebastian Shaw. The creep!" she glanced at that direction. 

"So... Shaw's the enemy then." Erik said 

"Go grin your shark grin to him, sugar! It'll give him nightmares!" she winked. 

///

 It didn't take long to scare off Shaw. Erik's presence basically dug a hole in Shaw's mind and soon he excused himself with sea sickness and left on a life boat. Emma was beyond herself with glee, hugging Erik and kissing his cheeks. 

"Alright, Emma, that's enough. Can I go home now?" 

"Sure, you can..." 

Erik sighed "Can I  _not_ go home though...?" he asked a bit quieter and drank his drink as a shot. 

Emma's hand rested on his. "Is everything alright, Erik?" she asked concerned 

Erik sighed again. "I think I care about him more than I thought... More than I should..." 

"Erik..." 

"I know how stupid I sound!" 

She shook her head "I wasn't gonna say that..." 

"No, you're too nice to say it." 

" _Please!_ I'd say anything I want." she rolled her eyes "Wanna talk about it?" 

Erik looked at her, reading the genuine concern in her eyes, she obviously cared. He sighed again. "Better not." 

She nodded. A silent agreement between them. 

"Can't get any worse than that." Erik forced a smile. 

"It will when he brings a cute girl in your flat." Emma noted. 

"Emma..." 

"It's true!" she shrugged "You think you'll be okay with it, but you will not."

Erik wanted to ask if _she was okay with it._ He felt like a jerk for even mentioning Charles in front of Emma. He still wasn't quite sure about Emma's real feelings for him. She said he's her best friend but he didn't want to hurt her. 

"He's such a nerd. He's not thinking about bringing girls to the apartment!" Erik chuckled

Please! Charles picking up girls? With his 24/7 science talk? No way!

///

It only took a few weeks but there was proof that Erik was right. Charles did not bring a girl home. Charles brought _a boy_ home. 

Erik had a long day at work, followed by his late lectures. All he wanted was a bath and a quiet evening. Instead he got in and the first thing to see was Charles being handsy on the couch with some complete and utter-- well, Erik didn't really know who the guy was but he instinctively hated him already. 

Erik felt his mouth go dry. 

"Oh..." he heard himself and bit his lip, lest he'd say something to make a fool of himself in front of Charles and his... guy...

Charles gave Erik the sweetest smile ever. “Oh, hello, Erik. This is Hank McCoy. He’s a friend from university”

_Hank McCoy, you're my new nemesis!_

As if to annoy Erik even more Hank fixed his hair and glasses and grinned at him. No doubt the little smug bastard was pleased that he was getting lucky with Charles on Erik's couch!

Erik felt rage and pain at the same time. 

“So it is” Erik said, his lips pressed in a tight line and tried not to sound too bitter when he greeted the guy. “Hello, Hank.”

Hank may have said something in return but Erik was too distracted and hurt to acknowledge that. 

Then Charles spoke again, all rainbows and sunshine. “Do you want something to eat? I made pancakes” 

It took Erik a few moments to realize Charles was asking him that. He frowned. So the beast on the couch gets kisses while Erik only gets pancakes...  

“Ah, no, thank you.” he finally managed to reply "I had a not so great day so I’ll just—“ he pointed at his room and started walking in that direction, trying to look as little in the direction of the couch as possible “You two kids, have fun” he said, mentally praying that his legs don't suddenly fail him. 

///

When he was in the sanctuary of his own room Erik finally let it all out. [Tears falling from his eyes](https://38.media.tumblr.com/4780d8327e357885c1236cc4bed764f8/tumblr_nme3weePrM1sgrr3ko1_250.gif) despite how much he hated himself for this weakness. 

Charles was in the other room with someone else. At least before there was some kind of comfort in the thought that Charles was straight. Erik had accepted that Charles would never be his because it was impossible. But now... Some schmuck was out with  _Erik's Charles_! The strange desire to break Hank's bones while swimming in the ocean of his own tears was raging inside him again. Somewhere in this whirlpool of emotions he could hear Emma's voice  _It's gonna get worse when he brings a girl home._

And somehow it was worse now that it's a guy. Because now Erik knew that _Charles just didn't want Erik._

It was clear what he had to do. Even if that meant breaking his own heart. 

///

A sleepless night, tormented with images of what was probably happening in the room next door; packing quickly in haste to get away as far as possible; late phone calls arranging for a place to stay. That was Erik's night. 

The morning he was ready to face Charles again. Well... not ready but at least the telling signs of his sleepless night were well hidden. 

For a moment, one terrifying moment, a horrible thought crossed his mind. The thought that Charles wouldn't be alone, that Hank would come out of Charles' room and Erik would have to have breakfast with the both of them. But fortunately that didn't happen - silver lining. Charles came out alone, rested and beautiful as usual, a friendly smile on his face and those sparkling eyes. 

They started on breakfast as usual. A tradition of sorts for them now. A family that eats breakfast together... no, that wasn't true. Charles was not his family and he never would be either. He just didn't like Erik. After all, if Charles had liked Erik, he would've done something about it!

Charles dropped a fork and picked it up again and Erik was pulled out of his thoughts.

"So you and Hank...?" Erik mumbled. He needed to ask after all.

"Yes, Hank and I..." Charles nodded and Erik hated that Charles actually looked happy when he said it. Like him and Hank together was the best that's happened to him.  

"You two are serious then?" Erik asked, looking down in his plate

"Well..." Charles shrugged "I like him but it's way too early to say I'm serious about him." 

"Oh." what a Casanova! Erik would never have guessed

"Or him being serious about me!" Charles added "It's really early in our relationship..."  _oh, so there was a relationship after all!_ "I'd like to see where we go from here though, I'd like to explore a future there." 

Erik felt his heart break all over again.  _A future with Hank._ _Charles wanted a future with Hank..._

"It's good." Erik said and then couldn't help himself and voiced what was on his mind since last night "I didn't know you were gay." 

Charles' blue eyes went wide. "No? Well, I am... I thought it was pretty obvious." 

_Hell, no, it wasn't! You glared as if you were gonna set me on fire just for one silly joke about you and Hugh Jackman! Why then was Charles always so touchy whenever Erik made the slightest reference of...? Oh, right. It was all clear now. Charles was so touchy whenever Erik mentioned relationships because Charles was not interested in Erik._

"You weren't." he said and smiled stiffly "In fact, every time you just seemed uninterested in the whole topic... I mean, I-- Well, I thought you didn't like the idea of a dude who likes dudes."

"What?" Charles laughed "You thought I was homophobic!?" 

"No! Not that. I just thought you weren't comfortable about it... that's all..." Erik said. It all felt so awkward. "But now you and Hank... Woah! That's good!"

Erik finished his breakfast as quickly as possible. "Well, I should go. I-- I have lectures..." 

Charles frowned. "Now!?" 

"Yeah, it's umm-- it's an exception." Erik said

"Oh..." Charles nodded. He looked kind of strange but Erik thought it was probably because he just got accused of being homophobic. Well done on that one, Erik! "Well... see you later then..." Charles added 

Erik took a deep breath. "Yeah... actually no!" he stopped right before the door

"What?" he heard Charles' voice from behind

It was tough to say goodbye but he had to. For his own sake, he had to. Charles still isn't interested in him in that way and Charles still had and wanted Hank. 

"I'm finishing lectures late tonight and then I'm leaving... out of town for a while so... " Erik shrugged and tried to smile  
  
"How long will you be gone?" Charles inquired and for a moment there Erik thought Charles would actually miss him  
  
He frowned "A while... " he said "I don't really know... You can have the place all to yourself or find another roommate if you want, it's all good. Hey, you could get Hank here any time you like."   
  
Charles was silent.

"I'm not gonna see you soon, am I?" he then asked quietly 

Erik was confused. Why did this feel so heartbreaking. He shook his head. "It is possible." he said earnestly "At least not for a few months. I-- I don't know how long I'll be gone..."

 As he spoke the words he glanced quickly at Charles. Charles seemed sad. Erik knew that in a way he was hurting Charles too. Over the time they spent together, they'd become good friends and now Erik was abandoning Charles. Naturally, Charles would miss Erik as a friend. It was unfair but it was the better alternative. 

Charles did not give up without a fight. He kept listing all kinds of ridiculous reasons for Erik not to leave and Erik found it so much more difficult to stay calm and say there was nothing keeping him here anymore.

Charles finally gave up.

"... good luck with whatever it is you have to do..." his friend's voice sounded small and quiet but it resonated in Erik's soul, loud as a thunder.

He shut his eyes closed, grateful that his back was turned to Charles and Charles couldn't see his face now. 

And then he left.


	12. The Sunlit Hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is - the final chapter!  
> Finally!!! 
> 
> I'm so very sorry for this long delay, darlings, but I love the story so much and I was kind of nervous to finish it because I wanted to write a good ending for it :)  
> Prepare yourselves for different points of views - we'll see Charles' first, even a bit of Emma's and then Erik's for the Cherik - SPOILER ALERT but you totally saw it coming - the Cherik reunion.  
> Now I always imagined them reunited on a sunlit hill like in Jane Eyre (2011) so when you read it, keep that beautiful image in mind :) 
> 
> Thank you again for loving this story as much as me!  
> I hope you enjoy :)

It's been almost a month since Erik left.

Charles knew he'd be upset without Erik, he knew he'd miss Erik but he was never prepared for _this_! Life without Erik was  _horrible._ Needless to say nothing ever happened between Charles and Hank. They remained friends and that kiss was as far as the two of them ever got. Hank found it amusing somehow and Charles could tell his friend was really cool about it. Also needless to say, Charles could not look at anyone else right now. No one was Erik. And _Erik_ was all Charles needed. 

Charles had never missed anyone this much in his entire life. The tight constant pain in his chest was physically hurting him. Nothing seemed to matter without Erik around. He was slowly dying as if Erik was the air he was breathing and now deprived of it, Charles was agonizingly suffocating. 

And then it hit him. He was in love with Erik. And then it hit him again. If he was in love with Erik and so much in love, wouldn't it be worth trying to talk to Erik, to get him back in one form or another - as a friend if nothing else. Charles was past the point of hoping that Erik might remotely reciprocate his feelings. But he knew one thing, he wanted Erik in his life, even if that meant loving him quietly from a distance. He had to find Erik, especially if Erik was facing difficult times and needed a friend!

So he did the unthinkable. He went to see Erik's other friends - Emma and her little group.  

Emma was alone in her place, probably just rolling out of bed because she was wearing a beautiful white negligee. She still looked perfect in this strange ice-sculpture way of hers. Charles had to admit Erik made a good choice, even if he always found Emma a bit... cold. 

His eyes involuntarily went down to her stomach for a quick glance - if she was indeed pregnant as Charles thought, it didn't show yet. It was weird for him to see Emma, knowing the things he thought he knew about her relationship with Erik. So he took in a deep breath and putting on a fake smile, he did his best to be brave. 

"Emma, hello, you remember me from--" he began but was soon interrupted

"Oh, sugar! What happened to you?" Emma looked at him head to toe 

Charles was confused. "W-what?" 

"You look terrible!" she said

 _Well, that was a real nice thing to say,_ Charles frowned. 

"What do you mean? I've always looked like that." he said, trying not to be offended. Erik's girl looking down on him.

"The last time I saw you, your eyes were bright, your cheeks were flushed and there was an honest smile on your cherry lips." she said, crossing her arms and looking even more carefully at him as if examining him. "Now your eyes seem sunken, there are dark circles underneath them, you're sickly pale and who are you even trying to convince with that fake smile?" 

Charles swallowed. He was not going to let her see right through him. Although she kind of already did... partly at least. Like she could read his mind. He really wanted to put a mental shield now if he could. 

"I had to study." he said. Why was he even explaining himself to her!? "... a lot." he added under her mercilessly scrutinizing gaze. 

"Sure." was all she said. "So how can I help you?" she then asked, while making them both a cocktail. 

"Um, I was wondering if you knew where Erik was." 

Cat's out! 

She had her back turned on Charles but he could see her shoulders still at his question. He felt like he had to add something more. After all, maybe Erik and Emma still had things to fix and work out and maybe he was upsetting a potentially pregnant lady - he reminded himself - by asking her questions about Erik. 

"I-- I just had something to tell him and I couldn't before and I can now... Only I can't because I don't know where he is... So could you please tell me... where he is, that is... if you know...?" he sounded stupid in his own ears but he couldn't care less as long as he got Erik's whereabouts. 

She slowly turned around with the two filled glasses in her hands and a soft smile on her lips. 

"You have to talk to Erik?" she asked and Charles nodded, trying to look casual about it. "I see." she said and sat down on the couch, tapping the seat next to her. 

Charles sat down like a good guest and waited. 

"Do you think Erik wants to talk to you?" she then asked 

"Why wouldn't he?" Charles replied confused "We didn't have a fight or anything, Emma. He didn't leave because of me. We were actually doing pretty well... as roommates." 

"Yeah, yeah." Emma nodded with forced seriousness "I thought you two had quite the chemistry. For roommates." she said. 

Charles only saw it fit to press his lips together and nod in agreement.

"Yes, I know where Erik is." Emma finally said and Charles felt his heart skip a beat upon hearing those words. "But first I want to refresh you a bit." 

Charles frowned "What?" 

"No offense, but you'll scare him if he sees you like that. You look like you haven't slept in days, no, weeks! And you've gotten so much thinner... Do you even eat properly?"

Charles swallowed. "What does this have to do with--?" 

She tapped him familiarly on the knee and giggled. "Just indulge me, sugar." she said

Charles shrugged. If feeding him, putting some products to make him look less like the zombie he was for the last weeks without Erik and 'refreshing' him was what it took for her to tell him where Erik was, who was he to protest.

"Alright." he agreed and for the rest of the day Charles was on Emma Frost's mercy. 

///

The day before Erik left, he came to Emma and told her what he was planning. Emma listened with a heavy heart. 

"So you're definitely doing this? You're leaving?" she asked

Erik nodded.

"After you worked so hard to get here, after all the studying and all the late working hours--"

"I cannot stay, Emma." he cut her off. His voice sounded tired and husky, just like his face.

She considered insisting more on this but thought better of it and gave a small nod instead. "Alright." she said "The cottage's ready for you. It's not too far from here, it's half a day's drive. You can stay there for as long as you wish."

"I won't stay long." he interrupted again "No more than a month, I promise. I just need to clear my head..."

"As I said, as long as you wish and need it, Erik. It's yours. It's really solitary so you can clear your head there as long as you need." her hand rested on his shoulder comfortingly. She hesitated for a moment before she spoke again. "Erik, I wish I could--"

"You're doing more than enough, Emma, and I'm grateful to you." he said, taking her hand off of his shoulder and giving it a small reassuring squeeze.

Emma pursed her lips. "Is this because of Charles?" she asked

"No." Erik lied 

"I think I know you far too well for you to conceal things from me, Erik Lehnsherr." 

Erik let out a small chuckle. She had a point. 

"Partly because of Charles." he admitted "But mostly it's because of me." 

"And there's really absolutely no chance for him to like you back?" she asked again. Suddenly she just wanted to help him find a solution, to make him happy like he deserved. He was never going to be _hers_ anyway.

Erik shook his head. "He doesn't think of me that way." he said quietly, looking down at his hands holding his drink. "If he did he would've made it known. And I'm obviously not his type." he drank whatever was left in his glass.

"I'm really sorry, Erik..." Emma said and she truly meant it. She of all people knew how he felt. 

He looked at her long as if reading her mind, understanding her meaning. "I'm sorry too..." he replied

She moved on for the last month while he was away but she knew very well that Erik hadn't. She knew very well that Erik was spending his days heartbroken and pathetic, drinking on the porch of her solitary cottage. And imagine her happy surprise when she saw the same look in Charles' eyes when he showed up on her doorstep; the same longing she saw in Erik's eyes when they talked about Charles was quite obvious in Charles' eyes when he was talking about Erik. Emma was far from stupid, she put two and two together and got the right answer. But she was not going to make it easy for Charles or betray Erik's trust when he confide in her his feelings for his roommate by suddenly blabbing it all away. She would not go around telling Charles that Erik was desperately in love with him. No, of course not. Where's the romance in that? What she could do was make Charles look all pretty for Erik and then send him off to Erik wrapped up as a gift. The rest was up to these two and she could only imagine the looks on both their faces when they finally realize what fools they both have been not to see the obvious. 

///

Erik was sitting on the porch of Emma's cottage, drinking and feeling heartbroken and pathetic. The sun was gently caressing the hills in the area with its rays that afternoon, making everything look beautiful and peaceful. The scenery made Erik jealous that nature could have this inner peace, this serenity that he so craved but could not find inside himself. He wanted to clear his head but all he could see around was Charles. The sky was nearly as blue as Charles' eyes. The aroma of the flowers nearly as sweet as Chrales'. The warmth of the sun nearly as pleasant as Charles' smile. It was all almost Charles... but not really. And no matter what Erik tried to do in order to get Charles out of his mind, out of his heart, it had the opposite effect. Charles was everywhere, constant and irreversible but never solid, never real. Everything was shaped like Charles. It was ridiculous! He came here to escape seeing Charles, but he forgot that Charles was always going to be by his side. Because Charles was now a permanent resident in his heart...

As Erik closed his eyes now he could remember every little detail, every incident, every misunderstanding, every word, every joke, every laughter they shared, every look they ever exchanged. Right from the very first day when he walked in the room and saw Charles. There were days when he regretted how passive he was, days when he wished he had made his feelings for Charles known before it was too late. And then there were days when he just wished he could forget all of this ever happened. But mostly he was enraged by his own stupid feelings that had hit him without a warning and utterly crashed him, destroyed him, defeated him. 

The only good thing was that no one was bothering him here, in this God forsaken place. He liked that, he liked being alone in his sorrow. No need for witnesses.

So imagine his irritation when he saw a car driving near and pulling by the cottage gate. Why, Erik was furious. Emma skyped him regularly but he knew well that she won't just drop in uninvited. And anyone who wasn't Emma had no business sticking their nose in Erik's business. Erik got up from the chair on the porch and made a few steps forward to give that intruder a piece of his mind. His anger needed a target anyway. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing here? This is private property!" he shouted and then his voice suddenly died in his throat. 

The person who got out of that car... was Charles... 

///

At first he thought he was imagining it, that it was another vision but then the vision came closer and spoke. It was definitely Charles' voice, Charles' eyes looking up at him, [Charles' hair](http://33.media.tumblr.com/17f5be60ef29c4a9f8747160a8184cec/tumblr_mic5vy6wvl1rjt3tjo6_250.gif) that was getting blown in a disarray by the wind. 

"Charles...?" he whispered

Charles was still talking but Erik did not register the words. He was just [staring](https://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mam6ewP8sz1qevreio1_500.gif) at him as if Charles was unreal. 

"Well? Erik, what do you think?" Charles asked and Erik realized that he was waiting for an answer that Erik was unable to give him now. His mind too distracted by Charles' presence here. He looked the same as he did when Erik left. He was beautiful. 

"Erik...?" Charles repeated. His face looked confused now. Erik realized his reaction was weird and slow. Charles shook his head with a frown "No, I was wrong. I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have came here. Of course, I shouldn't have!" he was taking steps back. He was going away from Erik. Erik felt his heart clench at the sight. "If you wanted to stay with me, you wouldn't have left... Stupid! Stupid!" the last words were uttered quietly as if Charles was talking to himself, not to Erik. 

Charles was walking back towards the car now. Of course he would, Erik wasn't saying a word like an idiot or some weirdo. Charles probably felt unwelcome. Before he knew it, Erik was crossing the distance between them to pull Charles into a tight hug.  _I will show you just how welcome you are. And maybe then you won't need words to understand what I think and feel._

After the initial feeling of joy at holding Charles like that, Erik realized that this was kind of creepy and slowly and reluctantly let Charles go. 

"Charles." he stated the obvious.

"Did someone give you really bad acid?" Charles asked confused and Erik grinned. Charles' cheeks were getting flushed and Erik heard him say "Are you really happy to see me here?" 

His voice sounded so uncertain. Erik was honestly surprised. How was Charles so blind not to see the great affection Erik actually had for him. Didn't he know that was what Erik was trying to run away from?

"Oh, yes, Charles." he nodded with a smile, running his hands through his own hair, wishing he had taken a shower today... or yesterday... or at some point. "I'm very happy to see you here." 

Charles smiled and bit his bottom lip. "Well, in that case, we're still friends, right?" he said in a small voice. "We're still friends and you can come back and live with me and be my roommate again?" 

Erik's face fell. Well, yes, of course, _this_  was what Charles was here for. For their friendship. For their roommatehood. 

Erik took a deep breath and slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Charles." he said, his voice low, sounding unpleasantly hoarse in his ears. "But I cannot come back to being your roommate again." 

Charles looked as though he was about to cry. "But why? Why can't things be like they used to? Did I do something? I'm so sorry, if I did! I'll make it right, I promise! I--" 

"I cannot come back to being your roommate because it would never be enough." Erik cut him off, his hand going up to Charles' cheek, just a gentle brush of his fingers against the soft skin - Erik would not allow himself caress Charles properly. 

Charles was confused, stilling at the touch. "W-what?" 

"We are friends, Charles." Erik continued. It was too late to go back now. "And I'd love to come back and live with you again... but not as a roommate, never as a roommate. I don't want to be your roommate, I want to be more! Because roommates are deprived of so many wonderful things that I want for us. Things that lovers do. Things that I know will not happen. So no, Charles. I don't think I can ever be your roommate again." 

His hand fell down to his side and he felt that same old despair again. "I'm sorry." he managed and was about to go back inside the cottage, not willing to impose on Charles more when Charles spoke. 

"But what about the baby?" he called after Erik

Erik stopped and thought really carefully about this question but no matter how he looked at it, he could not get it. Not in the least. The following felt a lot like it was extracted from a farce. 

"What baby?" 

"Emma's baby" 

"Emma's baby?"

"And your baby." 

"My baby?" 

"Emma's baby and your baby"  

"I have a baby!?" 

"Well, don't you?" 

"No!" 

"Are you sure? Because I spent a lot of time working on this theory." 

"Charles, I'm pretty sure I don't have a baby." Erik said "Emma and I were never a couple." 

"Oh!" 

"Yeah!" 

Silence. They stared at one another for a moment. 

"So what the hell are you doing here then?" Charles blurted out 

"Trying to get you out of my mind, duh!" Erik replied, his movements becoming more alive and energetic with each moment

"Don't you dare getting me out of your mind, mister!" Charles smiled brightly at him "If anything, I'm getting  _in._ " 

"Naughty!" Erik laughed as realization hit him in slow motion.

He wrapped his arms around Charles, basking in the sky in Charles' eyes, feeling the flowers' aroma in Charles' hair, and the sun's warmth in Charles' embrace. Yes, Mother Nature was glorious indeed!

"You mean all this time you fancied me?" Erik grinned fondly as they stayed like that for a long while. 

"You mean all this time you didn't notice?" Charles grinned back, looking up at him

Erik grinned even wider, making Charles chuckle

"You know, if sharks did grin, that's probably what it'd look like" Charles teased

"We've been together for less than half an hour and you're already joking on my expense" Erik shook his head amused

Charles gifted him with another smile and a gentle kiss that Erik was only too happy to return. 

"Stay with me here? For a few days. Emma won't mind." Erik said softly, lips pressed on Charles' temple. He could not let Charles go as if he was afraid Charles would dissolve into thin air if he did. 

Charles hummed "I'd love that." he replied 

Erik chuckled. "I bet Emma would laugh so much when she hears this story." he said 

"I bet Emma's laughing right _now_ because I'm pretty sure that she knew _exactly_ what was happening between us." Charles giggled 

Erik grinned, unable to content the happiness inside his chest. "And what is happening between us, roomie?" 

"We're falling in love" Charles cooed and snuggled closer to his now boyfriend as they watched the sun set behind the beautiful hills. 

 

~ The End ~


End file.
